Guilt

Such a small word - guilt - but such a powerful jailer. If we focus on our past actions, rather than on what Jesus did for us in the past, we're trapped....and satan knows it. The thoughts and memories of what we've done and who we were can be quite enslaving. And sometimes the thoughts and memories aren't just in our heads, but come at us from the mouths of family or friends ("I'll never forget when you....", "remember how.....", "What were you thinking?"). Or they can come to us from reminders through an event or a person; for instance, I really dislike the song "Amanda" by Boston, because once at a dance club, my former husband left me on the dance floor while it was playing because he noticed a girl who 'looked lonely' and felt sorry for her. When I hear it, I remember the anger and humiliation for a lingering minute or two. When I look at my sons, whom I love with all of my heart and am so proud of, I sometimes feel pangs of guilt for the drama I brought into their lives, by no fault or decision of their own. When I think about advising young people to stay true to God, a momentary flicker of feeling unworthy to carry that message comes over me. Satan is no respecter of persons, and he'll try to get at us whenever and however he can.

I once heard it described that when we feel guilty over past things that Jesus has forgiven us for, it's like saying His dying on the cross wasn't enough for that one sin. And we know, through scripture, that "in him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace (Ephesians 1:7)!" Satan is our accuser, and will always try to remind us of past transgressions, in hopes of making us feel unworthy and unconnected. Just quote some scripture and get him outta there! As an old Carmen song said, "When satan tries to remind you of your past, just remind him of his future!"

One of my favorite Christian performers is Json, a Christian rapper originally from St. Louis. He has a wonderful song that addresses our tendency to look back. It's called "Credits Roll," and here's a sampling of the lyrics:

I'm just buried in guilt
I can't look to your face
I'm rejecting forgiveness
I'm just running from grace
All my mistakes is so heavy I can't carry the load
And I can't see the hand behind me is crushing my soul
Past feels like the present just can't seem to let it go
I do, I feel indebted when my debt's already paid for, for

So even when you know it's over
Tell me why you always want to rewind
So much light in front of you
It's over let the credits roll
Let 'em roll
Let 'em roll

So when you're tempted to replay old movies from your past, pray about it, read your Bible, and let those credits roll!