Psalm 126:2--our mouths were filled with laughter...
Maybe your family is like mine...we tend to laugh to relieve tension or hide embarrassment--even during inappropriate times, like prayer, church, and other serious moments!
So, in this most tense-filled of moments, as my husband was behind bars, I was pregnant, and the future was very uncertain, my mom and I sat in the front lobby of the county sheriff's office. This was new territory for us, all the way around! My mom and I whispered quietly, she trying to be pretty light-hearted about everything, and we started wondering if we were being filmed or audio-recorded. That made us a little cautious, but also a little giggly....and the situation grew in unusual hilarity when my mom started wanting to use the bathroom, but wondered if she would be filmed or recorded in the bathroom! While it sounds ridiculous now, at the moment it really was cathartic. It got the nerves calmed a little, and it also made me appreciate my mom a lot more than I had been. I 'm sure she would've rather been curled up in a ball in the corner, crying over what a mess her daughter was in, but instead she was giggling about being recorded in the bathroom! Now that's love....
Friday, December 30, 2011
Crooked
Prov. 3:6-- "in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
Because of the "I'm not Tim, it's a fake name" news on the bus to San Diego at the beginning of our marriage and Tim's constant jumpiness around any sort of law enforcement, I took on that same nervousness. I dreaded having a policeman drive behind me, fearing they'd pull me over any minute...even though I wasn't doing anything wrong, I felt as if I were! And while I wasn't doing anything illegal, Tim started hanging around with shady guys and acting differently. His restlessness to travel took the form of always being gone or visiting people. Inevitably, Tim got found out by the law...and it wasn't for the false identity or parole-jumping, it was the company he was keeping! He'd returned to his old ways, and it caught up with him.
The scene is still pretty clear in my memory...now the secretary at my church and expecting our second child, I was in the church office, trying to finish up some typing before leaving work. A sheriff car pulled up to the church, which of course quickened my pulse; seeing my mom get out of the passenger side really caused me alarm! The deputy and my mom came into the church, and my mom broke the news gently: "Tim's been arrested." When they arrested Tim, he'd expressed concern about my pregnancy and asked them to get my mom to help break the news. The officer told me that Tim would be extradited back to California because of the parole violation. They weren't sure what to do with the fake name part, because this was in the late 1980s, when identity theft wasn't a commonly-known crime. As a matter of fact, Tim was even questioned by someone from the Social Security Administration about how he got the social security card, etc., more as a fact-finding mission rather than a pressing-of-charges situation.
My dad watched my son, while my mom and I went to the sheriff's office; they told me I could see Tim after he'd been processed. The detectives thankfully didn't question me about anything, but told me that they knew about the name change, California parole, everything. While I was half flipping-out, there was also a small sense of unburdening, as I'd been carrying this information about my husband for awhile, alone! The relief was short-lived, however, and replaced with a bit of alarm and uncertainty, when the lead detective told me that he couldn't, in good conscience, let me leave without telling me that he feared for my children and I if we went back to Tim, based on what he'd seen from his criminal record and in interviewing him...
I'd always known that Tim was selfish, moody, had a horrible childhood, etc., but to hear a sheriff officer advice you not to return to your husband because he is so criminal is quite a jolt!
Because of the "I'm not Tim, it's a fake name" news on the bus to San Diego at the beginning of our marriage and Tim's constant jumpiness around any sort of law enforcement, I took on that same nervousness. I dreaded having a policeman drive behind me, fearing they'd pull me over any minute...even though I wasn't doing anything wrong, I felt as if I were! And while I wasn't doing anything illegal, Tim started hanging around with shady guys and acting differently. His restlessness to travel took the form of always being gone or visiting people. Inevitably, Tim got found out by the law...and it wasn't for the false identity or parole-jumping, it was the company he was keeping! He'd returned to his old ways, and it caught up with him.
The scene is still pretty clear in my memory...now the secretary at my church and expecting our second child, I was in the church office, trying to finish up some typing before leaving work. A sheriff car pulled up to the church, which of course quickened my pulse; seeing my mom get out of the passenger side really caused me alarm! The deputy and my mom came into the church, and my mom broke the news gently: "Tim's been arrested." When they arrested Tim, he'd expressed concern about my pregnancy and asked them to get my mom to help break the news. The officer told me that Tim would be extradited back to California because of the parole violation. They weren't sure what to do with the fake name part, because this was in the late 1980s, when identity theft wasn't a commonly-known crime. As a matter of fact, Tim was even questioned by someone from the Social Security Administration about how he got the social security card, etc., more as a fact-finding mission rather than a pressing-of-charges situation.
My dad watched my son, while my mom and I went to the sheriff's office; they told me I could see Tim after he'd been processed. The detectives thankfully didn't question me about anything, but told me that they knew about the name change, California parole, everything. While I was half flipping-out, there was also a small sense of unburdening, as I'd been carrying this information about my husband for awhile, alone! The relief was short-lived, however, and replaced with a bit of alarm and uncertainty, when the lead detective told me that he couldn't, in good conscience, let me leave without telling me that he feared for my children and I if we went back to Tim, based on what he'd seen from his criminal record and in interviewing him...
I'd always known that Tim was selfish, moody, had a horrible childhood, etc., but to hear a sheriff officer advice you not to return to your husband because he is so criminal is quite a jolt!
The Kindness of Strangers
1 Timothy 6:18...do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.
Being off the road as carneys didn't take us off the road completely, at first. After finishing up the last weekend of the season with the carnival, Halloween weekend, Tim had made enough money to get a cheap car, order some cardboard frames, and a polaroid camera. His next business plan involved a photo booth and flea markets...not exactly Wall Street-worthy! He built a wooden stand with a background sheet, packed up the frames, and I loaded our few belongings, our son, and his medicines up into the car. We were Texas-bound!
Tim located a flea market in a Dallas suburb, and we paid the space rental fee for our photo booth. We then proceeded to try talking the few customers who were there into having their pictures taken for $1 and choosing from such classy cardboard frames as "Wanted, $1,000,000 Reward" or "True Love Always." I'm sure there were even worse offerings that I've erased from my memory! We barely made enough to scrape by, and Tim finally decided to admit defeat and head back to Kansas.
On the way back, we ran out of money, so we depended on the goodwill of a few strangers along the way. One especially memorable instance was when a motel manager let us stay for a free night after Tim stopped and asked if he could work in exchange for a room. The man called the room in the morning and told us to meet him down to the office. We nervously reported to the front desk, and he handed us $50 for gas and a free breakfast coupon for two; when we asked for his name and address to send repayment later, he told us to pay it forward. The random kindness of a stranger was so refreshing and touching...it meant a lot to me then, but grew in its meaning and impact as time went on.
We got to Kansas with literally just enough gas to roll into my parents' driveway, and I think that Tim was resolved to settle down for the sake of his small family. We got a low-income apartment and minimum-wage jobs. Most importantly for me, I was near my family and home church. I wouldn't say life was good, but it was consistent, which was a welcome state.
Being off the road as carneys didn't take us off the road completely, at first. After finishing up the last weekend of the season with the carnival, Halloween weekend, Tim had made enough money to get a cheap car, order some cardboard frames, and a polaroid camera. His next business plan involved a photo booth and flea markets...not exactly Wall Street-worthy! He built a wooden stand with a background sheet, packed up the frames, and I loaded our few belongings, our son, and his medicines up into the car. We were Texas-bound!
Tim located a flea market in a Dallas suburb, and we paid the space rental fee for our photo booth. We then proceeded to try talking the few customers who were there into having their pictures taken for $1 and choosing from such classy cardboard frames as "Wanted, $1,000,000 Reward" or "True Love Always." I'm sure there were even worse offerings that I've erased from my memory! We barely made enough to scrape by, and Tim finally decided to admit defeat and head back to Kansas.
On the way back, we ran out of money, so we depended on the goodwill of a few strangers along the way. One especially memorable instance was when a motel manager let us stay for a free night after Tim stopped and asked if he could work in exchange for a room. The man called the room in the morning and told us to meet him down to the office. We nervously reported to the front desk, and he handed us $50 for gas and a free breakfast coupon for two; when we asked for his name and address to send repayment later, he told us to pay it forward. The random kindness of a stranger was so refreshing and touching...it meant a lot to me then, but grew in its meaning and impact as time went on.
We got to Kansas with literally just enough gas to roll into my parents' driveway, and I think that Tim was resolved to settle down for the sake of his small family. We got a low-income apartment and minimum-wage jobs. Most importantly for me, I was near my family and home church. I wouldn't say life was good, but it was consistent, which was a welcome state.
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